I can’t believe it’s already Fall here in the Northern Hemisphere!
But, regardless of where you are in the world, we probably all pretty much hoped this pandemic would be over by now, so we could reclaim our lives. Instead, most of us are faced with the possibility of a second wave, more restrictions, more challenges, and the continuous uncertainty of it all.
The only thing that’s certain, is that this year has radically changed our lives, and not so much in a good way. I’m guessing on some level it has for you, too.
Understandably, the stress, anxiety and grief in trying to manage it all while keeping our loved ones safe, has taken a major toll on many of us.
That’s why NOW, more than ever, taking some “ME TIME” for a little tender self-loving care is so, so very important.
Whatever may be going on in your life right now, and I’m guessing it’s A LOT, I promise, taking care of who you are, treating yourself with kindness, care and compassion, matters. They are the food your mind, body, and especially your heart are starving for, and the nourishment to get you through this.
Take a moment and bring your attention to yourself; to your heart, your mind and body. When was the last time you took time to marvel at how this beautiful, strong, intelligent Being—you—has been Divinely designed to function on its own?
The foundation of it all is love!
In today’s society, it’s so easy to bury this foundation under a concrete of fear, surrounded by walls of worries, regrets, self-doubt, and self-criticism.
Just like any building or machinery (a house, a car, a bridge, a washing machine, a blender, and so on), will eventually come tumbling down, or stop functioning when the smallest thing goes against its design, so will the human body.
When we go against the foundation of our Divine Designer—Love—something goes wrong, sometimes, terribly wrong, and this is called suffering. Then, we go on a never ending search for peace and happiness using external tools, hoping they will fix and put an end to our internal misery. We may get a momentary fix, but soon enough, we end up back where we started.
The best way to put an end to the never ending search, is by coming back home to our true self and re-awaken our Divine foundation of love, built to withstand any storm. Studies have shown that self-love is the key to mental wellbeing and helps in keeping depression and anxiety at bay.
How do we do this?
A reminder on the obvious self-caring ways is always a good place to start.
- Eating healthy foods
- Exercise (walking in nature is my favorite!)
- Rest. Let what you do in a day be enough
- Listening to your favourite music
- Doing more of the stuff you love (baking, reading, writing, painting, and so on)
- Asking for help, and getting support from others
Above all, LISTEN to your body, and heart!
Have you ever heard your car making a strange noise while driving? I remember a few years ago, when this happened to me. I knew something wasn’t right, but I was too busy to have it checked out, and kinda hoped that by cranking up the volume of my music, the noise would just go away. (Yeah, did not happen).
So, I finally called the garage. The first thing the mechanic asked me was, “Can you describe the noise your car is making?” I laughed and said, “Nope.”
When I hesitated to answer after he gave me an appointment for later that same day, he said, “Mademoiselle, your car is trying to tell you something’s not right. If you keep ignoring it and don’t have it checked out soon, the problem will get worse and will be more costly.”
I agreed to go in and before hanging up, he said, “Another thing—Ahh—on your way here, listen and pay close attention to the noise, so you can describe it to me. I need to know exactly what’s wrong with the car in order to repair it as efficiently as possible. The better you’re able to recognize and describe the noise, the better I’ll be able to get to the root cause of the problem, and the quicker you’ll get your car back up and running safely.”
I got it back the next day, noise free. Turns out that the rattling noise was due to some loose parts underneath my car.
The same is true with emotional distress (sorrow, anxiety, anger, etc).
Sometimes we are too busy for any “ME TIME”, relaxing seems like a useless chore, and hope that whatever distress we’re feeling will eventually go away. But, ignoring, suppressing and resisting it, can become detrimental to our well-being, leading to physical pain in the different parts of the body, and eventually chronic illness.
- Listen to the cries of your body. It’s trying to tell you something is not right.
- Listen to the cries of your heart. It’s calling out to you, longing to return to its peaceful state.
- Trust your instincts, body and heart. Remember, you were designed from a foundation of LOVE, guiding you in the right direction
- Surrender to your emotions, even the most painful ones.
- Receive whatever comes up, that’s how you recognize and understand the source.
- Release and let go. Forgiving yourself is key in letting go.
In letting go, you’ll begin to feel a calm, a peace, and true love, bringing you back home to yourself.
No doubt, whatever situation you’re facing will still be there and needs to be dealt with. But, when circumstances are received and approached from a calmer, more peaceful state, things have a way of working themselves out, even the ones that seem insurmountable.
Let me share an example;
You probably remember the 12 Thai young boys of the Wild Boars soccer team and their coach who got stuck in a dark, flooded cave in 2018. They had gone more than 10 days with no food and water before they were found, and it took another 8 days before they were all rescued—a mission that was believed to be next to impossible by experts.
While they were in the cave, the boys said they weren’t afraid. They always had hope, and were able to remain calm because their coach had taught them to pray and meditate to preserve their energy.
A year later, the boys were reportedly doing fine both physically and mentally. Some of them said they want to pursue their dream as a professional soccer player, and the others want to become Navy Seals like those who rescued them, to give something back to the country.
Sometimes, we go so long hiding behind our emotions that they become so familiar to us. Without realizing it, we prefer to go on living with a heavy baggage of misery rather than releasing it, and living with joy, something we know nothing about.
Letting go of anything that has become familiar to us, is always scary at first, even if it’s causing our suffering.
But, I promise you, it’s so WORTH it.
And, it’s the perfect season for it, too. Fall—The magical season when the leaves begin their magnificent transformation, revealing an array of vibrant, red, orange and amber that were there all along beneath their green, and, the trees show us the beauty in letting go of that which no longer serves a purpose, in preparation for a new experience of growth.
Allow yourself to outgrow who you thought you were supposed to be, and grow into who you are meant to be.
I want to leave you with a beautiful, inspiring poem that points us to listen to our heart, amplifying the importance of Self-Love and its benefits.
It’s taken from the book “When I Loved Myself Enough” by Kim McMillen with Alison McMillen. This is the most shared version of the poem, titled “As I began to Love Myself” (often mistakenly attributed to Charlie Chaplin), which seems to be an English translation of a Portuguese translation.
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that in any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exact right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that it is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!
