I wish I wasn’t so afraid all the time. Afraid of what might happen if I do what I really want and stop doing what I’m doing now.
Does this sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone!
I have spoken and worked with many people from around the world about the problems, whether personal or professional they’re facing. We may have different cultures and traditions but, the cause of all our struggles and sufferings (anger, hate, anxiety, hurt, depression and so on) is deeply rooted in fear.
For some, this is obvious and they try to control or suppress it (I did). For others, it is not obvious that this applies to all problems (financial, relationship, career, health). That’s when we take defense with all the excuses and justifications as to why we should keep repeating the same actions. Oh, yes! I know they are all pretty darn good reasons. I’ve used them all myself.
In the end, I was still left with feeling miserable. Actually, I felt worse. With the resolution of one problem, a few more popped up like mushrooms.
You see, before planting good seeds in order to grow a beautiful, stunning garden, we need to first create the space, prepare the soil and remove the bad weeds, right?
Ok, maybe a garden isn’t important for you, but what about your LIFE!
Do you really, really want it to flourish?
If so, let’s look at this together a little deeper. Let’s go back to our original thought, “I wish I wasn’t so afraid all the time.”
From my own experience, this means you’re afraid of being afraid. You can’t accept you’re afraid. You’re afraid you won’t be ok with whatever might happen. You’re afraid you’re not strong enough, good enough or smart enough. Basically, you don’t trust yourself.
Why?
We’re constantly told, in some form or another, “don’t be afraid, just do it.” Like being afraid has become taboo.
It’s easy to perceive fear as the enemy. It’s the thing that holds us back from doing and living the life we really want. It talks us out believing we can do it. So, we try to shut it out of our lives, run away from it, and hide from it and control it. But, somehow, it keeps creeping up and takes control.
We end up acknowledging and admiring those who have overcome their fears and are now doing great things.
Absolutely, it is a wonderful thing. But, HELLO, they started out being afraid!
We compare ourselves to them and feel more ashamed of being afraid. While we are with our fear, everyone else is out there having a grand old time. So, fear has become the horrible enemy that needs to be destroyed.
Then, we talk about courage. We look up to those who had the courage to do the thing we want and say, “I wish I had the courage too.”
The moment you say, “I wish I had,” you no longer trust yourself.
In this fast paced society, it can get pretty scary sometimes. It’s ok to be afraid.
Start from there. Don’t wish to be or become anything other than who you are now. This is your fear. It’s a part of you.
Instead of trying to resist it, treat it like a friend and it will transform into your greatest teacher. Become aware of your fears, accept them and give them the attention they need. You won’t need to create courage in your life.
Whenever you’re struggling, depressed or suffering, be aware of your fear. What might it be?
Don’t judge it or criticize it or wish it would go away.
When you say,
I am afraid and it’s ok.
It’s ok to be a beginner (regardless of age).
It’s ok to start over.
It’s ok to make mistakes and so on.
You are no longer resisting your fears. You are no longer judging yourself! When you’re accepting, you no longer have an image of whom you should or where you should be. From there, you’re no longer afraid of making mistakes and can move forward.
When you say,
I am afraid and it’s ok.
It’s ok if others won’t understand; they are not living my life.
It’s ok if others will judge or ridicule me; it’s a reflection of their own fears.
It’s ok if I lose friends along the way, true friends will be made and so on.
You’re trusting YOURSELF and in that trust, you’re no longer craving things to hide your feelings of unworthiness or wanting your life to be different that it is now. You’re no longer afraid of not being good enough. You create a space to move forward at your own pace.
Stop asking people for advice on what you should or should not do. Or, trying to imitate their choices and living their life.
Yes, you’ll have to totally depend on the only person who has been with you and will always be with you no matter what: YOURSELF!
That’s the amazing thing. And, it’s the only way you’ll get to discover the immense energy and power you hold within. Yes, it is very scary, but that’s how you’ll come in contact with your fear and shine your light on it. If you keep going to external forces, you’re giving away that power and feeding your fear.
You know, with everything we’re exposed to in today’s society, it’s easy to look at others; their appearances, their status, their possessions and feel inferior or not good enough.
But, their outside never truly reveals their inside. Everyone is afraid.
I ask you again, do you really, really want to flourish?
Be aware of your struggles and suffering. Recognize the fear. Accept it. When you see it and accept it, you shine a bright light on it and it will no longer stop you.
Trust yourself. You have more power than you think.
