Ever feel like a magnet for toxic people?
The world is full of loving, generous, kind-hearted, compassionate people, making a difference. But, if you’re surrounded with toxic people, draining every ounce of your energy, those amazing people seem worlds away from yours.
From my own experience, they’re not hiding in some remote, far away distance as it seems. Some probably cross your path every day. The thing is, they probably don’t have the space to even place a foot in your surroundings, if it’s cluttered with toxicity.
For any positive change to enter your life, you must first get rid of the negativity. If you do nothing else but eliminate toxicity, you’ve already improved your health, increased your happiness and boosted your energy for bigger and better things to come.
I think that’s a big positive change worth considering, don’t you?
I know that depending on your relationship, it’s not always easy to cut certain people out of your life, right? But, if the negative impact they’re having on you is too great, it’s a must!
If you’re not ready to end the relationship completely, start by setting boundaries for yourself. Keep a healthy distance from those who thrive on sabotaging your happiness, well-being and growth. Remember, the choice is yours. You’re not being ruthless and you’re certainly not trapped or powerless, even though the toxic person tries to manipulate you in believing so. You’re merely respecting, taking care of and loving yourself.
Most importantly, in that physical distance, do not carry their toxicity with constant negative talk about what they’ve done to you or said about you. By doing so, you’re allowing them to keep sabotaging your life.
Instead, focus on the lesson learned and you’ll grow, bringing out the best in you. If you focus on the toxicity, it will grow inside you, bringing out the worst in you.
The day I decided that those who thrived on dragging me down, were not worth wasting a single second of my time and energy, my life flourished.
I learned that I couldn’t force someone to see my worth or get their approval because it was a choice they made and holding on to. Trying to prove them wrong, or arguing with them and especially being fixated on how infuriating they were, meant that I didn’t value myself enough.
In distancing myself, I created a space to thrive with passion, compassion, laughter and having fun in living the life I always wanted.
I created a space to build a loving relationship with myself.
- In loving myself more, I effortlessly refused to give anyone the power to disturb my peace and put out the light to see my full potential.
- In loving myself more, I effortlessly refused to let anyone make me believe I was less capable than I was.
- In loving myself more, I effortlessly refused to let anyone treat me in a harmful way.
- In loving myself more, I surrounded myself with amazing people who inspired and uplifted me.
The time we spend together didn’t matter as much as how we challenged, supported and encouraged each other. We brought out the best in each other. And, we had FUN!
Loving yourself is NOT a selfish act and definitely doesn’t mean you’re arrogant. It’s the most important step to distance yourself from toxicity and thrive!
Loving yourself, means you accept, appreciate and embrace the whole of who you are; Every embarrassment, every mistake, every goofiness, every screw up and all your amazing qualities, that make you, YOU!
- It’s about caring for your well-being so you love yourself enough to surround yourself with people who let you reach your full potential.
- It’s about loving yourself enough to love others and make a positive difference in the world.
- It’s about becoming your own most trustworthy, most loyal and most honest companion you can have blast with.
A true best friend will never do anything to harm you or stomp all over you. A true best friend will believe in you and let you step into your greatness.
Be that kind of a friend to yourself.
Don’t worry about what others think or say about you behind your back.
Because while they’re busying themselves with their worthless talk, staying stuck in their negativity corner, you’re thriving and moving forward passed them. If you insist on fussing and keeping that negative chatter active, you’re letting them stop you.
The biggest lesson I learned is that the opinion you have of yourself, what you believe about yourself, what you think and say about yourself, is far MORE important in creating the life you want, than that of others.
Here’s something else I have come to understand about toxic people. Hope it will spark something in physically, mentally and emotionally distancing yourself from them.
- They are not happy with one or more aspects of their life. Not being able to make a change in their own life, they can’t stand to see you doing it.
- They have a low opinion of themselves. Dragging you down, judging you, criticizing you and offending you makes them feel better.
- They feel you’re better than them or envy your life. Putting you down, gives them a sense of value.
- They can’t stand to be with themselves. Spreading rumors and gossiping about you, is their source of entertainment.
Remember, you will always run into toxic people. It’s normal if at first they stir up negative emotions inside you. How you channel them, and who you become to change the source of those emotions is where real self-growth occurs.
Don’t try to get back at a toxic person in their same toxic ways. Nothing good can ever come from it. Worst, you may end up turning into a toxic person yourself, keeping those amazing people away from you.
You may need to put your foot down in dealing with a certain situation at hand because of their toxicity, absolutely!
But, if you take a deep breath, focus on seeing the danger of reacting impulsively, intensifying the negativity within you, your response will be precise, from a peaceful place.
When you walk away, you will not carry their burdens in your own life. Don’t allow the toxicity of others to bury your goodness in hate and anger. You’re responsible for your own life, not others.
In being your own best friend, you love yourself enough to forgive anyone who has harmed you, wish them well on their life’s journey and focus on your own.
Sadly, many people put off loving themselves until they’ve achieved or accomplished some goal; the perfect job, a promotion, the perfect partner, the perfect figure and so on. Making themselves an easy target for toxic people to enter into their inner home for a comfortable stay.
You can love yourself today just as you are and all those things will be a result of it. Otherwise, those things become what you depend on to feel valued and loved.
And, guess what?
They can all change their minds. Then what?
You’re back to feeling worthless.
When your inner foundation is built on love, no one or anything can ever break you.
Loving yourself has nothing to do with WHAT you become and accomplish, it’s about WHO you become in your walk of life.
