Gratitude In The Face Of Hardship

Being grateful is advice we’ve all heard or given to others. While it comes easy when things are going well, it can be very difficult to “look on the bright side” when life takes a sharp unexpected turn for the worst.

So, is putting the effort in finding something to be grateful for when you’re facing desperation, or demoralization, or just feel plain angry at how life can at times be so unfair, worth it?

While it’s important to observe your own experience and come to your own answer, every once in a while, you meet someone who inspires you with their strength, confidence, and joie de vivre amidst facing many hardships, and makes you see things from a different perspective.

I had the privilege of meeting such a person. I hope that sharing her story will spread a spark of her inspiration in your life, too, especially if you’re going through a rough time.

You’ve probably heard about the Venezuelan crisis, causing a mass migration of Venezuelans to flee their country on foot. One of their main destinations is Colombia, where my husband and I have been residing for the last few years.

Up until last month, we had been living in Santa Marta with an ocean view. One night, we saw some people putting up a tent on the beach a few meters away from our balcony, while three small children played in the sand. Sure enough, among them was a Venezuelan family who had just arrived, settling into what would be their home for an indefinite period of time.

My husband and I figured they hadn’t eaten in a while, so we brought them sandwiches, fruits and bottles of water. As the couple kept thanking us, saying, “Dios Te Bendiga (God bless you),” the children ran over to see what was in the bags. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a child jumping for joy over holding a banana.

The following morning, I went back with more food and a bag of clothes. The man had made his way around the city to get a feel on making their next action plans. While the children played together, I struck a conversation with the woman and asked about their journey.

She told me that they had left their home and most of their belongings behind in Venezuela, taking only two baby carriages packed with bare necessities. They had walked for twenty days from the Colombian border city of Cùcuta through many rough roads, harsh weather conditions, with hardly any food—just to mention a few of their struggles.

What caught my attention the most, is how she focused more on the good things that happened along their way. Her eyes teared up, and said, “One night it was cold and pouring rain. We were so blessed when a woman let us stay in her home and gave us a warm meal.” Or, “We were so blessed when we were offered a ride that saved us about an hour of walking.” Or, “Since we arrived, we have been blessed with more kindness from people like you and your husband.

Last night, two Venezuelan men who arrived seven months ago, helped us find this spot and put up our tent. We shared the food that you and your husband gave us with them. Because when we share our gratitude for something with others, they get to experience the same joy we feel, and gives them hope through their own struggles.”

When I commented on her amazing, positive attitude, she raised her hands to the sky, and looking up, she said, “Gracias a Dios!”

Then, she looked into my eyes, and said, “Every time we had a cheese filled arepa for a meal, we had a choice to say, “It’s not fair, we only have an arepa to eat.” Instead, by saying, “Gracias a Dios for this arepa,” somehow changes things—they seem easier.

Every little thing is a blessing to be celebrated, not a retribution to complain about. Both attitudes require the same amount of effort. The difference is that complaining drains our energy and condemns us to a life of misery. Gratitude increases our energy and sharing our gratitude brings happiness into our life and the life of others, regardless of the situation we’re facing.”

At that moment, I was captivated by the sparkle in her eyes. I caressed her arm and said, “Listening to you is so soothing. You make something that can be so hard to do, seem so simple,” I pointed to her beautiful little girls, “especially with three small children.”

She let out a playful laugh and said, “The situation is difficult, no doubt about that. But, the attitude we choose to face it with doesn’t have to be so hard. Actually, it can be like a light illuminating our way through challenges.

We couldn’t change the situation of the crisis in Venezuela. We would have much rather stayed in our home, in our community and continued with the life we had, raising our children. We shed quite a few tears. OH!!! how we cried and cried.

We were also so grateful that we had the health, the strength and some financial savings to be able to take this journey for a chance at a better life for our children.

Some days have been harder than others, but Gracias a Dios we made it this far. Being on this beach, living in this tent, is a tremendous blessing. We don’t know what will happen next, but being grateful for all the good around us, even as small as an arepa, instead of focusing on what we’ve lost or don’t have, allows more good to flow into our life.

You mentioned my children. Yes, it hasn’t been easy, the oldest is six and the youngest is three. Seeing them playing and laughing, even though the struggles, has been a wonderful blessing. I will not take that away from them with complaints and anger. I may not be able to give them much, but making them feel safe and comforted by being grateful for what we do have, and showing them to share that gratitude with others, is the greatest gift I can give them.

I will always look up and say, “Thank You” for every kindness, help and opportunity, however small, that’s given to us. Always!”

Two days later, my husband and I said our goodbyes to the Venezuelan family and took the bus from Santa Marta to Manizales.

Then, last week, I received an update on the Venezuelan family from one of my expat friends still living in Santa Marta. The man had found a job washing cars at a local garage and my friend had given the woman a job cleaning her apartment with a flexible schedule, so she and her husband could alternate taking care of the kids.

She ended her email with a message from the Venezuelan woman, “Please, tell your friend and her husband thank you for their kindness. They helped us through a difficult time.”

I thought back to that morning on the beach, and realized that while I gave this woman food and a bag of clothes, she gave something much more valuable—priceless pearls of wisdom in gratitude in the face of hardship.

I couldn’t help but share them with you. And, at the same time, take this opportunity to thank you for your continuous support by letting me occasionally drop in your inbox and be part of your life. Most of all, thank you for being part of mine.

As you reflect on your own answer to whether or not an attitude of gratitude is worth the effort, I leave you with these words.