How To Gain Clarity When Your Mind Is Troubled

The week leading up to Easter, is the most important holiday in my adopted country of Colombia. While it’s a time for reflection for many devoted Catholic Colombians, most of them get the week off, and flee their big major cities to relax and enjoy themselves with their families. So, two weeks ago, here in Santa Marta, a city surrounded with beaches, it was heaving with Colombians!

Over at Rodadero, the preferred national beach, going for a dip in the ocean was a challenge. I navigated my way through the dense crowd with careful precaution to avoid getting run into or hit with a soccer ball, and tried keeping a safe distance from the vigorous splashing of feet, or from getting wet sand in my eyes while going through a sand throwing play fight.

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

As much fun as it was, something else happened while I soaked in the cool, refreshing water, looking at the happenings around me, that reminded me of a very valuable lesson I learned years ago.

At some point, I noticed a little girl staring down into the water, holding a bright yellow beach pail in one hand and sweeping the water with the other.

As soon as she spotted me smiling at her, she didn’t hesitate to ask for my help to clear the murky water, so she could see and catch the small fish in her pail.

Our futile efforts only seemed to cloud the clarity of the water more, especially with the constant jumping and splashing of the kids next to us, sending the coarse grains of greyish sand twirling around our bodies. Finally, she gave up, went back to shore and busied herself with a sand castle.

Last week, after the vacationing Colombians returned home, I went back to Rodadero for an early morning peaceful walk on the beach. As I looked out at the glimmering, calm, clear ocean, I thought about the little girl and our failed attempts to catch the fish. I slowly went in up to my waist and sure enough, there they were—a school of small coastal fish writhing around me.

And then, I understood.

It was only when everyone left the beach and let the water be, that the sand settled down and the water became clear on its own and the fishes were visible.

Here’s where the valuable lesson comes in.

“The mind is like water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.” – Master Oogway

I learned this lesson the winter of 2011. Before I made the decision to quit my job, sell my belongings and start my online life coaching business while travelling across South America, I stayed stuck inside my troubled mind for over two years.

Every day, I felt more and more stagnant at my job and trapped in a life I no longer wanted. I thought about making a big change, but I didn’t know where to start or what to do. I searched high and low for that one answer that would make everything right and restore my happiness. In that exhausting search, the whirlpool of thoughts spinning in my mind, turned into a tsunami!

It’s too late to start over now
I’m not good enough
What if it doesn’t work out?

Needless to say, I never found my answer.

Then, early February, 2011, my husband and I took a 3-week vacation, travelling across Argentina. Exploring the magnificent trekking trails in Mendoza, absorbed in the magnitude of the Aconcagua mountain and contemplating the immense beauty of the sceneries, it was like my search came to an end.

Upon my return to Montreal, my first day back at work, as I felt the walls of my cubicle office caving in on me, I knew without a doubt, that this was not how I’d be spending the rest of my life. And, I also knew exactly what I wanted to do.

You see, my right answer had been right in front me all along. During the ten years I was at my job, there was one thing—even throughout those last two miserable years—that made me feel alive and religiously did every month with no exception; One-on-one coaching.

I relished every moment of developing people to reach their full potential and discover their unique talents. I absolutely LOVED COACHING!

I can’t say I had a momentary revelation, because that’s not what happened. What happened was, in those three weeks, I had let my mind be. It had the time it needed to settled down from all the false beliefs, the false assumptions and conclusions, the doubts, and the voices of others dictating how I should or should not live my life, twirling around inside it.

In that calmness, the answer became clear. My true right answer, not one fabricated by my troubled mind and not someone else’s right answer.

Now, I would like to tell you that it’s been smooth, clear sailing from that day forward, but eight years later, as I look back on my journey, I can’t say it has been so. I’ve had so much to learn and adapt to. There have been many, many times where I’ve come up against obstacles and setbacks that had me pulling at my hair and wanting an answer. Sometimes, a thought would creep up, trying to stir confusion and doubt in my mind again.

This time, instead of letting those thoughts agitate my mind more, I’d stop whatever I was doing, and go for a walk.

When my mind settled down, the calmness brought an acceptance of not having it all figured out and the confidence to face my fear of what I imagined the unknown to be; a place of devastation, filled with mistakes, failures and not being good enough.

With that, I realized that where I was, was exactly where I needed to be to know my next step. And, I gave myself permission to go at my own pace in the learning process.

One thing was for sure, there was no way I’d give up pursuing what I truly wanted because of the time it’d take to get there. I still had to live this time. Living it with the pain of feeling stagnant would be a lot worse than with the pain of pursuing something that made me feel alive.

Although some of those mistakes and setbacks were frustrating, disappointing and awfully painful at first, they played a major role in making it all worth it. Without them, I’d never have become the person I am today, and the doors to opportunities beyond anything I could have imagined would have never opened.

I know it’s not easy when faced with difficult and troubled times. The unknown is a big, scary place, way out there. And, without the security of a concrete answer that it’ll be ok, sometimes, we convince ourselves that ‘playing it safe,’ is the responsible thing to do. We end up being satisfied with our misery, at least we’re familiar with it, right?

Other times, we seek answers in things outside ourselves, in a job position, in accumulating knowledge or possessions, or in our relationships. Chances are that the harder one tries to find an answer or solution from that same troubled mind, it will end up causing more trouble and problems. When those things don’t end up giving us the peace of mind we hoped for, we sink deeper into an ocean of despair.

Sound familiar?

Often times, it’s when things fall apart that life begins to come together. But first, you must become aware of the agitation of your mind, and let it settled down.

Setting aside some alone time, like walking in nature, watching the movement of trees, the birds, the flowers, is a powerful way to calm the mind and be ok with not knowing right now. It may take time, but it will happen, effortlessly. In that calmness, you’ll connect with Divine energy and your own true answer will reveal itself. You will come to know peace, even in places where there’s no peace. You’ll tap into a wisdom that doesn’t come from books, and gain the confidence to follow your own calling to living a life true to yourself. You’ll awaken your passion by treasuring the most precious gift you already have—Life itself!