During our last coaching session, one of my clients expressed deep concern over her mom’s loss of appetite after her surgery. “No matter what I cook for her, she takes a bite, complains that everything tastes the same and says she’s not hungry. I’m really worried about her.”
So, A few of days ago, I called to ask about her mom’s recovery.
“OMG, Antonia,” She yelled out. “She’s eating! She’s eating! She got her appetite back! It’s been three days and she’s already gained so much energy. She’s even gone out for short walks and decorated the house with flowers. She just needed to rest.”
Our conversation reminded me how I had lost my appetite for life before making a change in my life. For two years, I was miserable and nothing seemed to satisfy the emptiness I felt inside. Not my job, not my house, not my belongings-nothing! Like my client’s mom, everything ‘tasted the same’ and I had lost my appetite and my passion for life. I kept searching and hoping that one day my outside world would change, bring back joy in my life and regain my appetite. But, that day never came.
Looking back, here’s how I finally regained my appetite and passion for the whole of life.
Acknowledge and Accept
I finally acknowledged that I was afraid of not knowing how things would turn out. I accepted that the things I once thought were important had completely lost meaning. Clinging to them for the security of knowing exactly how each day would be, I lost my energy and no longer knew my true passion in life. In accepting the way I felt in that moment, I began to let go of all the beliefs I had been attached to.
You see, before my outside world could ever satisfy me, I had to heal my inside and allow all my emotions to pass through. I allowed myself to rest and stop resisting.
Allow yourself to rest, acknowledge whatever you’re feeling and accept without any judgments. Let your emotions pass through to give yourself an inner space to see things the way they are without comparison. Only from this space will you gain an energy and appetite to move beyond.
Where You Are, Is Where You Need To Be
When I accepted I was afraid, I began to understand that my thoughts, the things I believed to be true are what had given birth to this fear.
I believed I was too old to start over. I believed that because I knew nothing about starting my own business, I would fail and risk losing everything.
All these beliefs had been taught to me by others in the past. Now, they no longer served me in the present. I kept comparing ‘where I was’ to ‘where I should be’. So, I compared my ‘not knowing’ to the knowledge I should have already had to start my own business. It completely blocked me to take any action.
The day I realized that all these beliefs had been educated to me through the fears of others, I was no longer living in the past and fully present with myself. By letting go of the comparisons, I was no longer too old, too ignorant or a failure. I just was. And, from there I was able to take the first step in moving forward.
It is unrealistic to believe that you should have everything all figured out. If you don’t know your passion in life, stop searching. Just be. Watch the thoughts and beliefs you tell yourself everyday. Watch your decisions and actions. Watch the consequences of your decisions and actions. By doing this you will learn about YOURSELF! You will see for yourself that your passion is probably buried underneath your beliefs.
If you compare yourself to others, you will automatically judge yourself as being incompetent, dull or too old. You cannot possibly move beyond from a label you have placed on yourself. If you stop comparing, you just are and from there you can take action.
Give Yourself Permission
When was the last time you did something you truly wanted to do? Or, the last time you tried something different without any motive, any goal or any reward for doing it? Now, have you tried enjoying your own company?
Have you noticed that when we feel we’ve lost our appetite for life, we look for distractions and keep ourselves busy to avoid feeling isolated?
I did this! Again, it was like going from one thing to another, seeking some pleasure to the next. Yes, it does give a temporary moment of happiness but, soon enough you’re back in the same place again. Everything seems mundane and tasteless.
When you are able to enjoy your own company, do something without any motive, something extraordinary happens. When you are able to embrace life and yourself as it is, you will gain true freedom! You will no longer be bound to demands of others and seek their approval for your purpose in living. You will give yourself permission to just be without beating yourself and trying to be what society thinks you should be. You’ll accept every mistake, every fall, and every obstacle that comes your way. Fear will no longer stop you. You’ll be more loving towards yourself and not be threatened by life. You’ll be open to see beauty in things you probably never saw before and let passion enter deep within you instead of searching for it on the outside.
If you want to regain your appetite for life, keep your mind and heart open to allow passion to enter. Let go of the need to be certain, perfect and approval of others. Give yourself permission to simply BE!
